we have pet lesbian snakes
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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