I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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