sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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