Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
