Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.

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(616): View more from Michigan

hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job

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(305): View more from Florida

I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn

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(336): View more from North Carolina

okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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(623): View more from Arizona

Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there

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(712): View more from Iowa

You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.

(712): View more from Iowa

On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.

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(406): View more from Montana

Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila

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(206): View more from Washington

So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.

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