Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
So squirting runs in the family.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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