yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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