mondays should just be called national damage control day
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
