So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
