I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
