I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
