I feel great
I just peed on a car
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Mom said you looked used
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
