Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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