I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
