a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
