It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Terrible idea I love it
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
