do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
