watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
