So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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