I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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