Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
