i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
