kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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