so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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