Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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