We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize