This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
