you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
