...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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