You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
