i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
