Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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