My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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