she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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