2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
