It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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