I think I died a long time ago.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think my moral compass just broke
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize