im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
