I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize