if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
