I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
