I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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