Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
