would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
