My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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