Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
