Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
