its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
