No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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