He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
