just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
