omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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