I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he high fived his dick after we had sex
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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