marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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