the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
