in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
