Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
