i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize