I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
