you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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