Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just googled if crying burns calories
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
