Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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