Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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