so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
