and you said cock pushups were impossible
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
